Dear Black Man,
I have become a woman that you no longer recognize. I have allowed our enemy to impregnate me with his ideas and thoughts. I have allowed an illusion of independence to keep us separated.
I have fooled myself into believing that my degrees places me degrees above you.
I humbly come to you asking forgiveness. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not supporting you. I come to you asking you to forgive me for not truly loving you. I was taught to hate myself, then hate you. My desire to reproduce you was killed by our enemy.
I apologize for teaching my daughters that you will fail them, and continuing the cycle of an illusion of independence with them.
I apologize for not encouraging you, for not being more patient with you, for not understanding your plight, your trials and your tribulations. I apologize for thinking in order to gain strength I had to weaken you. I apologize for disturbing your peace, in order to have peace within myself --- or what I thought was peace. My life has been in peril without you. I tried to convince myself that I don't need you, but you are a necessity. I can't even continue the cycle of life without you. I apologize for my harsh tone, for using my tongue as a sword, for telling you that you are nothing; when, in fact, you are everything.
I apologize for mistreating you, disrespecting you, neglecting you and belittling you. I know that I have aided in breaking you, and I am beneficial in rebuilding you. I am acknowledging the wrongs that I have committed against you, and I am confessing my faults. By acknowledging my wrongs, I am not absolving you of your duty; but, rather I am re-committing myself to my duty to you.
I have relinquished my womb from our enemy and I am returning it to it’s rightful owner --- you.
I tried to walk this journey of life without you; but, I realized that I should be walking this journey with you and beside you. I pray that you accept my sincere apology and that we can start the process of reconciliation; so we can love each other and have productive and successful relationships that will set the standard for our children.
Black Man, I love you.
A Black Woman who concedes that her womb was one of many.