By: Nojma Muhammad, Your Black Woman
Brothers, never lay down with a woman that you don't trust with your life. If conception occurs, and the relationship ends, her hurt/pain/ bitterness will cause her to use her womb as a counter attack against you, since betrayal starts in the womb (mental) first. We have to work on handling the disappointment of failed relationships, but our wombs are NOT the place for experimentation.
I know many speak about the fathers not in the lives of their children, but I would like to bring attention to the fathers who do desire a relationship with their children, but the mother has used her womb as a poisonous breeding ground and has turned the hearts and minds away from the father. A bond that should be beautiful becomes ugly and tarnished. These children come out hating you, and because most children have a loyalty towards their mother, and have the desire to please her, if disliking you pleases the mother, then they will follow suit. Women we are the first teacher, but it doesn't mean that what we teach is correct.
So again Brothers, never lay down with a woman that you don't trust with your life, because if you don't trust her with your life, then you can't trust her to cultivate life for you.
Sisters, regardless of the "position" women are always the receiver. A man can not enter unless you give him permission (forced entry being the exception). That means when you let a man inside your body, you are saying "I am taking everything that comes with you. Your seed, your spirit, your aura.....everything!" When the weight of a man is on us, as we lay on our backs, we are saying that I am agreeing to carry you. If you allow entrance to a man who is not your husband, if you didn't require any discipline or responsibility before conception, yet you still choose to receive him, then you are basically volunteering to carry his weight by yourself. As soon as conception takes place, the responsibility is on the Woman and it will never be equally balanced because we are the carriers of life.
Carry means- To support (a weight or responsibility)
To be pregnant with
To extend or continue in space, time, or degree
This is what we are saying every time we lay down; so before we lay down, distinguish if the man you are about to carry will be a “pleasure” or a “burden.”
With sex comes responsibility, this is why it should take place between a married couple that truly understand and know the sacredness of marriage, and how it should be protected. When a man marries a woman, he is saying I accept responsibility for you, than in turn gives her security and gives her the desire to reproduce him.
Brothers there is so much intelligence in your seed, but you dumb your seed down when you place it inside a womb that isn't capable of properly reproducing you.
Sisters, there is so much value in your wombs but you lessen the value when you accept seeds that have not matured yet.
Your wombs are not for manipulation, your wombs are not the next come up and, most importantly your wombs are NOT weapons against the men in your life who have hurt you or disappointed you. It is very selfish to mold your children in your bitterness. The responsibility of being a mother occurs as soon as you know you are pregnant. Your thoughts and your energy go in the child that you are carrying. We have to stop using our wombs as a place to engage in war against the men in our lives. We have to be honest with ourselves and ask the following questions: Are we really studying the men we have allowed entry in our lives? Has he shown us and have we required him to show that he has the ability and desire to be a good husband, father, maintainer and provider? Are we grooming our sons to be husbands? Are we grooming our daughters to be wives? Hell are we grooming ourselves? Did we desire a relationship or were we just fulfilling a need?
The purpose of the article is to make us think about whom we give ourselves too. We have so many single mothers and fatherless homes and it’s the children that suffer because their parents made "lust". Instead of looking at each as potential mates we look to see if there is a "potential to mate". Until we remove the lust from our relationships and replace it with love---starting with self-love first---and start engaging and producing productive marriages, our children will continue to be in broken homes. There is no such thing as “free sex” because it is our children who pay the ultimate price.
THE LESSON: Be mindful of who lies beneath you, and whom you lie beneath.