Wednesday, December 14, 2011

To My Sisters: Your Wombs are not Weapons



By: Nojma Muhammad, Your Black Woman

Brothers, never lay down with a woman that you don't trust with your life. If conception occurs, and the relationship ends, her hurt/pain/ bitterness will cause her to use her womb as a counter attack against you, since betrayal starts in the womb (mental) first. We have to work on handling the disappointment of failed relationships, but our wombs are NOT the place for experimentation.

I know many speak about the fathers not in the lives of their children, but I would like to bring attention to the fathers who do desire a relationship with their children, but the mother has used her womb as a poisonous breeding ground and has turned the hearts and minds away from the father. A bond that should be beautiful becomes ugly and tarnished. These children come out hating you, and because most children have a loyalty towards their mother, and have the desire to please her, if disliking you pleases the mother, then they will follow suit. Women we are the first teacher, but it doesn't mean that what we teach is correct.

So again Brothers, never lay down with a woman that you don't trust with your life, because if you don't trust her with your life, then you can't trust her to cultivate life for you.

Sisters, regardless of the "position" women are always the receiver. A man can not enter unless you give him permission (forced entry being the exception). That means when you let a man inside your body, you are saying "I am taking everything that comes with you. Your seed, your spirit, your aura.....everything!" When the weight of a man is on us, as we lay on our backs, we are saying that I am agreeing to carry you. If you allow entrance to a man who is not your husband, if you didn't require any discipline or responsibility before conception, yet you still choose to receive him, then you are basically volunteering to carry his weight by yourself. As soon as conception takes place, the responsibility is on the Woman and it will never be equally balanced because we are the carriers of life.

Carry means- To support (a weight or responsibility)

To be pregnant with

To extend or continue in space, time, or degree

This is what we are saying every time we lay down; so before we lay down, distinguish if the man you are about to carry will be a “pleasure” or a “burden.” 

With sex comes responsibility, this is why it should take place between a married couple that truly understand and know the sacredness of marriage, and how it should be protected. When a man marries a woman, he is saying I accept responsibility for you, than in turn gives her security and gives her the desire to reproduce him.

Brothers there is so much intelligence in your seed, but you dumb your seed down when you place it inside a womb that isn't capable of properly reproducing you.

Sisters, there is so much value in your wombs but you lessen the value when you accept seeds that have not matured yet.

Your wombs are not for manipulation, your wombs are not the next come up and, most importantly your wombs are NOT weapons against the men in your life who have hurt you or disappointed you. It is very selfish to mold your children in your bitterness. The responsibility of being a mother occurs as soon as you know you are pregnant. Your thoughts and your energy go in the child that you are carrying. We have to stop using our wombs as a place to engage in war against the men in our lives. We have to be honest with ourselves and ask the following questions: Are we really studying the men we have allowed entry in our lives? Has he shown us and have we required him to show that he has the ability and desire to be a good husband, father, maintainer and provider? Are we grooming our sons to be husbands? Are we grooming our daughters to be wives? Hell  are we grooming ourselves? Did we desire a relationship or were we just fulfilling a need?

The purpose of the article is to make us think about whom we give ourselves too. We have so many single mothers and fatherless homes and it’s the children that suffer because their parents made "lust". Instead of looking at each as potential mates we look to see if there is a "potential to mate".  Until we remove the lust from our relationships and replace it with love---starting with self-love first---and start engaging and producing productive marriages, our children will continue to be in broken homes. There is no such thing as “free sex” because it is our children who pay the ultimate price.

THE LESSON: Be mindful of who lies beneath you, and whom you lie beneath.


£yricxpression said...

Very profound. This is a lesson that hasn't been taught to a lot of us women and men.

Anonymous said...

This is the Truth!

Anonymous said...

At last a courages Sister takes the effort and expresses the TRUTH! We as mature adults must pass this powerful message on to our youth.

Anonymous said...

Wow!! This is true, women takr heed to one of the most important points. Laying down with a man that is not your husband can lead to you being a "single mother". Watch both men & women who you lie on top & underneath! Men stop sleeping eith women because of the size of their butt¡!¡ & msking life that you dont plan on nurturing or taking care of.

Anonymous said...

Education, biblical principles all play a part in relationship. People are a product of their environment. We are better, we must do better. Women be whole men be whole. Do the work first, the children are depending on us.



Anonymous said...

Bout time someone held some of us sisters accountable for the hot messes we put our own selves in. By that I don't mean the child but the breakup & inevitable fallout from falling in lust. We cannot keep a man by having a child together nor can we manipulate that child to hurt him so we can get back at him. It will not bring him back nor will fix the pain behind it. Best to just let him go as a life lesson and ask God to heal you.

There's no need to try to poison them against their father by telling them the "truth". Children are quite observant; they can spot flaws, hypocrisy and double standards in you and him. Better for them to come to their own conclusion than to try to shape their opinion. Only in cases of abuse should a mother take a formative role in molding their view on appropriate behavior.

Now there's nothing wrong with holding a father responsible for his actions - so long as moms is checking herself too. We just need to be mindful of our conversations about the other parent, keeping everything age appropriate. There are certain things kids don't need to know. Too much disclosure runs the risk of making them our equal as a friend/confidant.

Ladies we can no longer afford to be naive nor can we cry innocent all the time. Men have their share of the guilt and so do we. Some of us use sex as bait to lure a man in and then act outraged when the man is finished playing with us & wanna leave. Ultimately, we teach men how to treat us by what we accept. And what we tolerate will bear fruit - ripe or rotten. Let's watch what we sow and until we're married, keep our legs closed.